Sorry about the lack of posts in the last couple of days. I’ve been busy with life and such you know, the usual. A lot has happened though. I did go and have an appointment with my audiologist office. We ordered the processor (the part that goes on the ear outside of the body). That had made me that much more excited and nervous at the same time. I’m looking forward to getting it. We matched colors to my hair and skin, and ordered an iPod attachment. I catch myself thinking about the surgery all of the time so I am forcing myself to think about other things so I don’t drive myself crazy out of nervousness. I’m sure I’m driving all of my friends crazy talking about it, so I’m trying more and more to stop.
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately since it’s coming to season and all, is family.
I have always had a somewhat skewed vision of what a family should be. It’s no offense to my family or anything. It’s just given my current situation and what I was exposed to as a child, that has messed up my views. This isn’t me complaining about my family by any means, I understand that everybody has there things, this is just part of what made me who I am.
My family in a nutshell: My parents divorced as a child, my mom’s mom (my grandma) died when she was eight. And her dad kicked her out of the house at fourteen. She moved from California to Oklahoma to live with her sister, my details are vague from then on but somehow we lost contact with that entire family. No maternal side.
My dads side: They love me very much, and as do I love them. But it is a large family, and with a large family one can tend to fall in the cracks. As in they forget to invite you to things and somebody can forget your name for a second. I see most of them on Christmas Eve, but that’s about it. It’s really not a big deal to me, It’s just difficult when they all have their holiday events with their spouses, leaving you basically alone on holidays.
So because of this family situation, on holidays it was usually just me, my mom, and my brother. If we got lucky enough to get invited to another families event, we would go to their families house. Don’t get me wrong, I love holidays and everything, it can just be difficult. The past couple of years it has gotten better with going to the same families houses and things, so it isn’t as awkward.
My mom has always taught me something, “Friends come and go, but your family is always there for you.” (I always found it interesting she told me that when her own family abondaned her
) I think that phrase has some truth to it though, but we all know of those friends that would never go anywhere no matter what happened to you. Those friends to me are viewed as family. The people that repeatedly take me and my family in, (my half-sisters family, its a long story, a whole ‘nother blog post) I view as family to me, I have some good family friends across the street, they are family to me.
This past year I really saw a family hold together in the loss of a family member, this year they will be experiencing the “going to somebody else’s house” thing like my family does every year. It isn’t a bad thing, but in that situation, it is very difficult for them.
The ability to hold together through family is pretty great. I am very thankful for my family and I hope that everybody else reading this (if your still there) has the same support that I do. My surgery is in less than a month now, the date is getting closer and closer.
Have a good Thanksgiving, I’ll get more uniform with the updates!