As I near closer and closer to the December 20th date, things are starting to hit me. I’m not trying to be dramatic by any means, but I’m trying to be mature about everything and look at this surgery the way it should be looked at.
As of today my surgery is in 21 days.
I heard my sister’s voices the way I’ve always known all my life for the last time on Thanksgiving. I heard a lot of things the way I’m used to for the last time on Thanksgiving, my families voices and such. I spent my last weekend home before surgery too.
After this surgery, things will never go back to the way they have always been, even if I want them too. This is a permanent choice I had to make, but I’m very glad and excited I made it.
I’m going to have all of my residual hearing wiped out in my right ear four days before Christmas. That’s what has to happen for the cochlear implant. The cochlear implant won’t be activated until after New Years. I will not hear anything out of the right ear for two weeks. Through Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Years. Even with the cochlear implant activated, sound won’t be anywhere near the same, at first. Instead of listening through my ears, I’ll be listening through electrodes stimulating my nerves directly. It’s a whole new way of listening. But it’s a way that will work for me.
But it won’t work immediately.
Sure I’ll hear noises, but I won’t understand how to comprehend the noises. I’ve never really heard or understood sound out of my right ear. It will take therapy to make use of the noises. So I will be going into therapy overdrive for the three weeks left of Christmas break. I will be going to classes with the rest of the students at school. Just with some different equipment.
I’m feeling a little weird about the fact that the next time I go home, I will be going into surgery. It feels like the date jumped up on me. Back in October it seemed like this couldn’t come fast enough, now I can’t believe how quickly it came.
Don’t get me wrong at all! I’m looking forward to it, I’m ready to do this and I’m very excited. I’m just nervous as to how this is all going to turn out. It’s going to be weird hearing things out of that ear. I’ve never really understood speech out of that ear, so to hear somebody speak to me and for me to understand what was said will truly be a miracle and I’m looking forward to it everyday.
I can’t wait until I can talk on the phone out of that ear, or until I can hear my friends out of that side, or until I can actually close my eyes and rely on my ears for once. It will be great.
If anybody is wondering, this is what Google says the cochlear implant will sound like: the first one is what you hear and the second one will be what I hear.
Hope everybody is having a good day!